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EQ Gangster

Jun 17, 2021

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Highest of highs last 24 hrs & then this morning hit some pretty low lows w/news from a dear friend who lost his 26 y/o daughter & mother of a 2 y/o. 


I briefly shared a little about the highs & lows in the last episode.


For those that didn’t catch the last episode, here are a couple of the highs from the last 24 hrs:


Senior exec reached out after 15 years out of the blue & asked me to put together 2 EQ Leadership Development Courses for his Senior & Mid-Level Execs overseas in 2 different countries. It could turn into a very large corporate coaching contract. We’ll see what happens.


Through a program I paid for, I am involved in a “speed dating w/the media” w/84 major media reps ranging from National Media Outlets to regional media reps. I closed 9 out of 13 of the Media Reps during my “speed dating” session. or 70%. I’ve followed up w/all of them. Now let’s see what happens. I have another 13 Media Reps to pitch tonight.


Even the thought of following up via email w/9 different people would’ve been absolutely overwhelming & enough to shut me down. Seriously. Here’s how serious I am.


The next day after I followed up w/all of them, my wife asked me what I had just finished. I told her I just finished following up w/all 9 Media Reps. She was totally shocked. 


Then, we offered to get involved with and lead an organization that is wanting to grow and expand which is going to be a very sizable project w/lots & lots of details.


Details on ANY other day of the week have had a tendency to absolutely shut me down every. single. time. every. single. time. 


This is a true story, it would literally take me 10-12 hours to do a 30 min project b/c of the number of details that were involved in that project.


Another proof of growth—I’m getting myself set up w/the VA system finally after being out of the military for 20 years. I’ve got a number of lingering issues from my service time. I had to track down multiple documents & make a couple phone calls & send a couple emails that I would’ve normally taken 2 - 3 weeks to do AFTER much “encouragement” from my wife. I knocked it all out in 5 - 10 min. 


Details were the death of me prior to my emotional growth journey.


Details were absolutely my kryptonite.


Then, yesterday morning, I got news that my dear friend’s 26 y/o daughter & mother of a 2 y/o passed away tragically. I called him up & we bawled for 30-45 min. 


That was the past 24 - 48 hours. It was a very, very emotionally exhausting 24 - 48 hours. Emotional exhaustion is also very physically exhausting, which not many people consider just how physically exhausting processing & dealing w/emotions really is.


So between all these super exciting emotions & super crushing emotions from the death of my friends daughter AND all the hundreds & hundreds of little tasks & details that are now on my plate…


…would’ve absolutely sent me to my “default cave” for at least 3 days. 


I would’ve normally completely emotionally withdrawn. Would’ve completely been emotionally unavailable for my wife & daughter and coaching clients. I would’ve just sat & stewed in my emotions & feelings not actually working through them, but just stewing & brooding…which neither are productive ways to handle emotions. 


And this time, I busted out a “New Note” on my iPhone & labeled each major event & did a “thoughts & feelings vomit” under each respective heading pertaining to each respective emotional issue. 


After vomiting all the my thoughts & emotions & feelings down for each respective issue, I went back through each issue & went emotion by emotion & gave myself permission to feel each emotion…pleasant AND unpleasant. Light & heavy/intense.


The whole exercise took about an hour. 


I got up after that & felt physically exhausted but emotionally unburdened. 


After I did that exercise I started knocking out details & tasks that would’ve formally been my kryptonite.


It’s b/c I created more emotional & mental bandwidth my naming / identifying my emotions & feelings; allowing my self to feel them & work through them.


Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.


Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally. 


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